No, I will lay down my sarcasm and mockery and wish all of you nothing but joy.
May you remember the events that transpire on New Year's Eve and not lose them in an alcoholic fog - and not have to collect the details from companions in the morning like a boozy jigsaw puzzle.
May you have a manageable hangover on New Year's Day.
May you kiss somebody attractive at midnight on New Year's Eve, and not be attacked by the drunkest person at the party who inevitably has a tongue like a deranged eel.
May you make that list of New Year's resolutions and look at it again before New Year's 2015.
May you enjoy the sense of euphoria that stepping from one year to another induces, and may you truly believe - however briefly - that life has been magically reset because of another rotation of the Earth around the Sun.
May you remember 2013 with a fond nostalgia, no matter how good or bad it really was.
Cheers, everyone, and Happy New Year!