By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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Sunday morning, partly cloudy in Portland. Sitting in a cafe having just had a Caffe macchiato.
The art on the walls are life size pregnant women made of fabric. Each fabric is a different color to show ethnicity of the women, and the babe in womb is upside down with the umbilical cord visible.
My heart skipped a beat and my stomach clenched when I noticed the art. Even though my son will turn 18 in about a week, the part of me that had all those miscarriages and a baby die 16 years ago does not forget.
I don't know about the rest of you, but even though this art is probably beautiful to many people, I could never have this image in my home. I don't openly mourn those losses very often after all these years. Yet there are certain instances that stab me in the heart and yank the scab off, even now. Wish that weren't so. Truth is, it is so.