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By Tom Cushing
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About this blog: The Raucous Caucus shares the southpaw perspectives of this Boomer on the state of the nation, the world, and, sometimes, other stuff. I enjoy crafting it to keep current, and occasionally to rant on some issue I care about deeply...
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About this blog: The Raucous Caucus shares the southpaw perspectives of this Boomer on the state of the nation, the world, and, sometimes, other stuff. I enjoy crafting it to keep current, and occasionally to rant on some issue I care about deeply. My long, strange career trip has included law and management jobs in two Fortune 50 companies, before founding the legal search and staffing firm Cushing Group, Recruiters. I've lectured on negotiation and settlement strategy, and teach graduate courses at Golden Gate University (Adjunct of the Year for a doctoral seminar on business, law and society). Illinois, Texas and California (Inactive) admitted me to law practice; I hold JD and MBA degrees from the University of Illinois, and a BGS from the University of Michigan, with Distinction. There -- Go Blue! Personally, my daughters are a lawyer in NY, and a pre-med student in NM - their lives-and-times often animate these columns. I'm active in animal advocacy matters, having led a citizen team that took Alameda's city animal shelter to a non-profit operation - we saved $600K annually and the lives of some 700 companion animals/year vs. the City's best alternative. I'm delighted with that success. My family has re-homed 144 foster animals over many years; we host four boisterous border collies of our own. Mostly for humane movement efforts, I was nominated for GQ magazine's 2009 Better Men, Better World Award. You may notice that many of my rants relate to critter issues. In addition to the Raucous Caucus blog, I frequently contribute to The BARK magazine, and am a proud Moderator emeritus on the popular news and humor website
www.Fark.com. I prefer scotch over imported beer
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Young Girl, The Roy Moore Story
Uploaded: Dec 10, 2017
Note: I didn't really intend two consecutive song parodies, but Sue was playing Oldies yesterday, and the Union Gap's ode to pedophilia came on the box. Well, I took it for a sign (it just Had to be), one verse led to another (as they sometimes do), and so without apology to Mr. Puckett or his lyricist (yuck), I give you the following:
Young Girl, or The Roy Moore Story
Young girl, get into my car,
I’ve got a full tank of gas – we’ll go far.
I’ve got a bad yen,
Right here in Gadsden.
You're not yet armed like a woman,
And only halfway through your youth.
You don’t learn at the hop, to tell me “Stop!”
Or call a cop,
In the End Times – just who will care if it’s the truth?
Young girl, please do what I say,
You realize that I’m the D.A.,
I know you’re jail bait,
But I’m in a mad state.
You sell that perfume and wait tables,
With those teenagers at the Mall.
And though I’m banned from there,
Don’t be a square, we're quite the pair.
I signed your yearbook, after all.
Young girl, won’t you be my toy,
Someday they may call me ‘Senator Roy’,
It’s just our se-cret,
(You’ll deeply re-gret.)
I’ll get you home to your mama,
I promised her I’d take you there.
It’s lucky we reside,
In the land, of the Crimson Tide -
Someday I’ll be bigger than The Bear.
Young girl, I’m a predator crook,
There’s no Commandment, I took a look.
It’s a loophole, girl,
Hay’s for a roll, girl!
BTW, Mr. Doug Jones is still accepting contributions to his GOTV campaign. The election is Tuesday.
Democracy.
What is it worth to you?
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