By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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Readers, let me begin by saying that I'm fine. Yesterday instead of seeing my wonderful clients, I spent the morning and early afternoon in the ER. I was newly diagnosed with atrial fibrillation.
My heart had been pounding for several hours during the night, but I was able to sleep at last. But in the morning when I took my dog out, I was out of breath and faint, and realized I couldn't stand on my own. It was one of those moments in which I knew as soon as I called the advice nurse I'd be heading to the ER.
My husband took me to Kaiser and stayed with me, even though I had the best care possible. I told him it was okay for him to go to work and I got the "look" that said he wasn't going anywhere :-) Well, except to the cafeteria to get breakfast for me.
Not that I faced my own mortality yesterday, but we have an American aversion to facing our mortality and death in general. But the truth is we'll be here for a time, and then we won't.
What do you value? What do you want to do with your time here? How do you want to treat your beloved and be treated by her/him? What do you want to teach your children? What will you regret at the end of your days if you don't do certain things? What matters to you? How do you want to make an impact--on even one person?
If you haven't yet, learn the language of feelings and let people in your life know you love and care about them--or are annoyed by a behavior. Be your authentic self at home and at work; that way people can love who you actually are and appreciate you
If your life or relationships need work, get to it--today.
Thank you for reading my posts, it means so much to me. I hope they help you navigate your relationships.
It's a little intimidating to share this health issue with you, but I plan to follow my own advice and be authentic and transparent.
Happy New Year!