By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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Don't Wait Till Your Child is 42 to Say "I'm Proud of You."
Uploaded: May 21, 2022
I was looking through old journals just now. Some of it was painful to remember, some was joyful. One item I came across was a card from my mother congratulating me on graduating college in preparation to go to grad school to become a therapist. (I left college and eventually went to work in high-tech, which I did for 15 years before I went back to school. A person could work her way up without a college degree back in the day.)
The cards says "Congratulations" on the front, and inside she wrote: "I am incredibly proud of you! I know how much effort is required to go back [to school after so long! You are doing GOOD! Much love, M"
I was 42. It was the first time in my life my mother told me she was proud of me . . .
I hope you are telling your kids, your partner, and those you love and care about that you're proud of them. I hope you're saying I love you, and saying in detail why you think s/he's an amazing person.
My husband is retiring on Friday. I am so excited to spend a lot of time with him. He says, "I'll carry your books" meaning supporting my writing, publishing, and promotional efforts. He believes in me, in my book series, I Do, I Don't: How to Build a Better Marriage.
He's going to come along with me when I promote my book(s). He tells me he's proud of me; again today, in fact.
It's not hard to be kind. It's not hard to pay attention. It's not hard to say I love you, or I'm proud of you. You have to choose to do so.
It takes 66 days to create a habit. By August first, you'll be on a roll!
What is it worth to you?
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