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By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

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You Can Do This, Too (and People Need It)

Uploaded: Jul 30, 2023
I’ve been writing to you about kindness for many years now. About how it makes you feel better, plus it’s best for all your relationships-partner, kids, friends, family, co-workers, neighbors.

There are so many people who are lonely in the midst of their own relationship, and in their community. I saw an article about a district in Paris in which they have enacted a community to revive ‘conviviality and cut loneliness’-and it’s been wildly successful. The self-proclaimed “Republic of Good Neighbors” (Republique des Hyper Voisins) is on a mission to transform their neck of the woods into a vision of Paris from the past, full of ‘bonjours,’ of greenery and promenading, and of taking every opportunity to chat with passersby.”

While you may or may not build a 715’ long table and invite the whole district to lunch, think about how you can begin to build a community of inclusion and activity. There’s no need to discuss politics or religion in order to show care and create conviviality. In fact, those are best left alone, especially these days. So what do you have in common with people in your community? Being human beings, with wired-in need for people (even introverts need a few people).

Lo and behold, so much good can come from the meeting of people with good intentions. You might meet someone to mentor, or be mentored by. Someone to walk along the Bay with. To ride bikes with. To cook together. You can easily create book or craft groups. Maybe even someone to love. The possibilities are endless, just use your imagination. Maybe there will be families you grow to like and trust and eventually you can take turns hanging with all of the kids while the other couple goes on a date. Next time it will be your turn. (Remember to use your date time to talk about topics other than work/kids.)

I know many of you are thinking that sounds good, but you don’t have time for it. I challenge you on that. I’m certain many in the 14th District in Paris thought the same.

Be bold. Go for it! Let us know how it’s going.
What is it worth to you?


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