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COUPLE'S NET

I'm Thinking . . . I'm Not Thinking . . .

-Writing Exercise developed by Natalie Goldberg Dear Readers, I’m going to share an exercise I did while in therapy myself many, many years ago. I hope...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Aug. 20, 2021
Last comment by ElaineB, on Aug 20, 2021 at 7:24 am | 1 comment | 12486 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Couples and Premarital: "Unpack Your Heart"

Take a listen to Philip Philips song, "Unpack Your Heart." We Want to be Known Most of us, at heart, want to be truly known, accepted, and loved...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Jun. 4, 2021
Last comment by WilliamR, on Jun 10, 2021 at 10:43 pm | 1 comment | 12468 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: ". . . Then it’s all downhill from there.”

“Some people put more effort and money into the wedding day than they do into their marriage itself. Then it’s all downhill from there.” ...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Jul. 30, 2021
There are no comments yet. 12447 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Traffic Lights for the Whole Family

In previous blogs I’ve written about traffic lights and how to make use of them (March 30, 2018). Now it’s time to use traffic lights with your family. Everyone...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Aug. 7, 2020
There are no comments yet. 12439 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: Trump Paid $750 in Taxes

At our house, we believe that black lives matter. We believe it’s time to end racism and sexism. We believe that all people matter and it’s time to end...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Oct. 1, 2020
Last comment by Kevin, on Oct 8, 2020 at 1:55 pm | 2 comments | 12353 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Silicon Valley Burnout?

Psychologists Herbert Freudenberger & Gail North identified the concept of burnout in the 1970s and assigned it 12 stages of development and experience. {IMG...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on May. 6, 2022
Last comment by Chandrama Anderson, on May 12, 2022 at 1:19 pm | 2 comments | 12248 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: “Hold Me Tight” by Dr. Sue Johnson

Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy is closely aligned with my training in couples counseling. Sue provides a well-researched theoretical framework...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Aug. 21, 2020
There are no comments yet. 12161 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Couples: Are you Committed to your Vows or Dysfunction?

At one time I am sure that you were committed to your vows. Think back to your wedding. Remember how happy you felt. You were certain when you married that this...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Jul. 31, 2020
Last comment by Jennifer, on Aug 4, 2020 at 9:11 am | 1 comment | 12101 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: Taking Breaks (Fallow Time)

Fallow, def.: Plowed and harrowed but left unsown for a period in order to restore its fertility . . . I'm a proponent of taking breaks. The Covid-19 pandemic...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on May. 22, 2020
There are no comments yet. 12099 Views

COUPLE'S NET

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship . . .

. . . that makes unhappy marriages.” - Friedrich Nietzsche Despite the wonderful Beatles song,

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Sep. 10, 2021
Last comment by Kevin, on Sep 10, 2021 at 8:22 pm |
2 comments | 12005 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Couples and Premarital: Personal Weather Report (TM)

Your partner can not read your mind, and my husband can not read mine, either. You actually have to say what's on your mind. One homework exercise I like to give...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Nov. 27, 2020
There are no comments yet. 11985 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Do you Fight, Flight, or Freeze? “How did we get here?”

When you are triggered or flooded — i.e., upset or overwhelmed — do you fight, take flight, or freeze? These are the biologically wired-in options for...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Jul. 10, 2020
There are no comments yet. 11967 Views

COUPLE'S NET

My Halloween Trauma Lingers

On Halloween, in broad daylight, when I was 10 years old, a man in a Camaro tried to lure me into his car with candy. Fortunately, I knew about Stanger Danger...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Oct. 29, 2021
Last comment by Chandrama Anderson, on Nov 2, 2021 at 8:44 am | 3 comments | 11961 Views

COUPLE'S NET

"When you make the sacrifice in marriage . . .

. . . you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship." - Joseph Campbell Well said! Other ways of saying it: Secure Attachment. Two-person...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Oct. 8, 2021
Last comment by Chandrama Anderson, on Oct 13, 2021 at 11:18 am | 2 comments | 11918 Views

COUPLE'S NET

. . . People will never forget how you made them feel.

 "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on May. 28, 2021
Last comment by Chandrama Anderson, on Jun 4, 2021 at 7:39 am | 2 comments | 11896 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: I look like THAT??!!

I’m certain I have blind spots I don’t know about--that’s what makes them blind. I hope my husband, family, and friends will tell me (kindly and...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Jul. 23, 2021
There are no comments yet. 11793 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Couples and Premarital: Parallel Living: What to Do

I received an email thanking me for writing Signs and Symptoms of Parallel...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Sep. 17, 2021
There are no comments yet. 11717 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Grief and the Holidays

Editor's Note: I originally posted this in 2013. Due to the 73,000 people who have read it, I think it's worth sharing again, especially after over 5.34 million...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Dec. 17, 2021
Last comment by NanaDi, on Dec 27, 2021 at 11:40 am | 6 comments | 11371 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Stay and Play – and Work – in Carmel-by-the-Sea

My husband and I, with our adored Papillon, Bixby (yes, named after Bixby Bridge), were hosted by Hofsas House in Carmel. We had an amazing getaway, especially after...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on May. 14, 2021
Last comment by Chandrama Anderson, on May 17, 2021 at 9:01 pm | 2 comments | 11226 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: See "Buck" for Couple's Tips

Check out the movie Buck; it's ostensibly about Buck and horses, yet it speaks to the way people handle themselves and one another. There's a scene in which Buck...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Sep. 25, 2020
There are no comments yet. 11193 Views
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